


Professor’s Thoughts

by ErrorDetected



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Boy x boy, Comfort, Dimitri Comforts Byleth, Fluff, M/M, emotional breakdown
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-06 23:34:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20299777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErrorDetected/pseuds/ErrorDetected
Summary: Although he appeared to be calm, collected and stoic. The mortal God also had his own emotions and struggled, that were covered up to reassure everyone that all would be alright.After all, if the person everyone relied and looked up to, the person who was to lead this War to an end shows any fear. It would mean fear for all.Or: Dimitri finds Byleth in his own broken state.





	Professor’s Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like Byleth would have something like this, and Dimitri and the others would forget about young Byleth is yet he’s carrying so much of a heavy weight in his shoulders. This is my idea and thoughts put into writing!

The night was usually so comforting for Byleth. The quietness and the peaceful white noise that only softly rang in his ears. While the cheering of his father and the other mercenaries chattered happily in the back. Such peaceful days were now gone, for his father, and his simple life disintegrated. 

War raged everyday as lives were left to burden upon his shoulders. The screaming of his past students, the emotional last words they spoke to him as they told him they were fine to die, if it were by his hands. However in their final moments, they told him to put an end to this war. To bring peace to the new edge of dawn that will arise to the next day. But they didn’t understand, that he rather feared the edge of dawn knowing time betrays. After all, time was a power that were played by his own hands. 

He stood still in front of the stone where his father laid to rest besides the love of his life, the mother he never met but the mother he knew would have been the best. He was not religious, despite literally being a mortal God. 

The emotions he felt were all so jumbled up and it was such a sudden change, so different from the stoic and non-feeling, non-beating heart. Byleth stared down at the grave before him as his fingers curled into a fist and his lips formed into a frown. Not much different from how his usual stoic expression would be, the professor would always be seen with such an expressionless face. His eyes unreadable and foggy, his lips set either into a straight line or a ghost of a frown. 

Many of his students used to have such silly challenges back 5 years ago, doing silly things and pranks just to get an emotion shown on his face. 5 years ago..such a peaceful time with no worries besides having to grade tests and work. His eyes turned to shut as he sighed quietly. 

“Hello Mother, Father. Father, I had to take one of my student’s life once more today upon the battle field. Such a strange wish they asked me. They wished to see me smile at him before I took his life.” His tone was flat and low. It’s the same tone that the others would hear from him with no difference from the tone he’s used ever since last year in those 5 years he was asleep for. 

Time betrayed him, for it moved without him in his slumber and instead went to cause the torture and war for his past students instead of being there for them and helping them edge into the real world, that was revealed to them at a very young age, for it was too soon. Yet despite time being manipulated by his own hands and being a god, he could not do anything about it. Everything around him changed along with the people he once knew. He failed as their Professor. He knew from the start that he wasn’t the right person for the job. 

Byleth let the moment of silence and peace overflow for a few moments before continuing again in a hesitant, hushed manner, “War is upon us all. I must make the decisions to lead us to victory. But...” A small pause as his gloved hands curled into a fist. His words were stuck in his throat as he struggled to breathe them out. 

The sounds of heavy cladded footsteps against the stone flooring sounded throughout the silent night. It was cold, at the times like this. However, the Crowned Prince would rather care less. 

It was almost comforting considering his own Kingdom he was supposed to rule over had their extremely cold environment. It would be fully comforting for if not the demons that lurked in his mind, along with the dead who screamed and begged him for that Vermin woman’s head to be sliced off, and to be hung before them to bring them peace. At least he hoped it would. The chances were low, and Dimitri had no hope. It all burned away with the old Dimitri from 5 years ago. It was so dark; the only light being provided along the path he walked being the rays of moonlights that shone down upon the Monastery. 

So, it was a surprise to him that someone would be up and out so late through the night. An intruder? Dimitri immediately gripped his lance tighter in his hand before letting a scowl cross his sharp and dark features of his face. Once being so happy with smiles were now wiped of presence, for it was absent from his face. 

The person was clad in black and he could barely see them with the darkened night, and not to mention the limitation of only having access of sight from one eye. He stalked forward as if a lion about to lunge at its prey as he stood from the staircase of the graves in the Monastery. He took a first step down the staircase but his main focus remained on the dark figure. 

But he stopped as he heard the familiar voice that he grew to admire of the years, even over his false death. Dimitri could easily recognize that voice from anywhere. It was always so deep, low and coolly used when he spoke. But it was different this time as the blonde did not understand what he should do in the current situation. So, he did what he usually would do best these times. Stay silent, and observe. 

A strange expression crossed the ex-professor’s face, his brows furrowing while his lips pulled into a pressed line and his eyes, that were a bright green fell into a gloss like state. But It was not a crying state, it was so hard to explain how he was feeling at the moment. After all he was the stoic professor. The strong one of all who was to always be seen and expected to be kept level headed. To be the pillar of support and the walking hope for everyone around him. Dimitri could only see the glimpse of the side of the older’ face. 

His hand slowly arose to his face as it was still clenched in a fist, pressing it against his forehead to mask the broken expression on his face. Byleth shook his head and breathed out in a shaky voice, “Father I don’t know what to do. I wish you were still here with me..I cannot handle this any longer..” 

At this time Dimitri’s body froze as he listened to Byleth speak. He has never seen the professor so…vulnerable, before. It was as if time had frozen and it were just himself and the other who stood before a grave. It was an immediate understanding for everyone, even Dimitri despite his current behavior, that Byleth was someone who was the pillar of their problems and the one to consume them without any protest. Dimitri furrowed his brow and tossed his gaze aside to look away from the broken Professor. His gauntlet covered hand tightening into a fist at his side while the other remained to be gripped onto the lance he held in his opposite hand. 

Dimitri for once stopped to listen to his professor, to listen to his words this time instead of snapping at him, or growling at him to go away. Byleth. Byleth, he realized, had burdened so much to this point. Dimitri felt-no. He knew that he himself only added onto the weight of burden upon the light mint-haired man’s shoulders. 

A sigh came from Byleth as he kneeled before the grave and placed a hand upon the cold stone that carved his father’s name into, along with the date he had managed to live and the day he passed from this world. His bangs framed his face in a curtain like way as it fell forward with gravity. “Please, Father, tell me…tell me what to do…I need to help him.” 

Him..? Dimitri listened on. Who was he referring to? 

“He has suffered in my absence. Its all my fault. This is all my fault…It could have been prevented if I had just—If I just—” Dimitri felt a pang in his chest as Byleth’s voice shook, his arms supporting his upper body as his head hung low in front of his Father’s grave. The male was suffering in guilt. Byleth…he continued to blame himself for this whole entire war? For Dimitri’s own plagued demons? He gritted his teeth. 

Dimitri continued down the steps and his boots touched the grass and felt a shiver go down his spine as if the people who were laid to rest in these graves yelled at Dimitri. He came to a stop just behind Byleth as his icy blue eye gazed down at the man before him. But he didn’t have the strength to open his mouth to speak. He was at lost for words as he stared down at his professor. 

As if on que Byleth raised back up and his hand lifted to cover his eyes, a frown obviously stitched upon his face, “I don’t want to kill anymore of my students. How can I continue to listen to their words to me before I slice them down..?” A moment of silence passed before he muttered the words that made Dimitri angered. “…Perhaps it would have been best if my existence were to be erased from the start.” 

That is what made the blonde speak up, “Do not utter such distasteful non-sense!” 

Byleth swiftly turned around in shock at the sudden voice, hand reaching quickly for the sword of the creator on his side before coming to realization that it was only Dimitri, who glared at the male before him. “Dimitri…?” He questioned, masking his once broken and lost expression with his mask of a stoic, expressionless one. Putting that strong façade up before his student. “How long have you been standing there?” It was very, very, well hidden, but Dimitri was able to trace it in his tone. It was a worry. A worry that Dimitri had heard his troubled thoughts, that he witnessed Byleth in his vulnerable state. 

Dimitri confronted him, voice laced with anger, “How foolish are you, professor?” This made Byleth break the eye contact with the blonde and instead looked to the side as his fists tightened. “I did not intend for you to see any of this. I shall take my leave now, goodnight Dimitri.” Byleth made a move to pass him, to head for the staircase, but Dimitri caught him by the arm in a harsh grip that made him wince from the overwhelming strength of his student. He always seemed to forget the amount of strength he possessed. 

He narrowed his eyes at him before raising his voice at the light haired male, “Pleading to the dead. Instead, you should be avenging your father! He will not be laid peacefully if you cower like this!” Byleth stared at Dimitri, eye contact remained before closing his eyes. Oh how broken Dimitri was, a saddening tug at his non-beating heart could be felt. “Dimitri. Please..” He whispered under his breath. 

Dimitri only narrowed his gaze further at Byleth. He did not answer, and Byleth continued. “I—” He cut himself off by leaning forward towards him, forehead pressed against the armor of the taller male, making him stiffen in posture, lost at how to react. When Dimitri did not move to shove him off, he lifted his hand to gently pry the hand off of his arm that held him in a grip. 

“I am sorry. I do not wish to burden you with the thoughts of my selfishness.” He whispered shakily. Byleth shook his head against Dimitri, “My existence. My own life. I should not be alive while my students have died by my hands..” His eyes that were only glossed over, were now pricked of the corner with tears in his bright green eyes. Despite the bright color, it did not match his emotional state, the sadness that radiated from him and along with the guilt that swallowed him. 

Only now has Dimitri realized. The amount of burden, the amount of guilt, responsibility, selflessness, sadness, and pressure, Byleth has been holding al by himself. He never puts himself first and always and only cared for those around him rather than himself. He threw himself in front of others in order to save them. He valued others over his own life. And the amount of heavy burdens upon Byleth’s shoulders have finally managed to make him break. 

Dimitri felt guilt for yelling at Byleth moments earlier and felt his breath hitch when Byleth lifted his head to gaze at him once more. Tears fell down his soft cheeks and his long lashes fluttered open and closed, tears dampening his skin and his lashes held drops of tears. A broken expression. 

He did not see Byleth weep before, only the time when Jeralt had passed. The screams and sobbing coming from his professor. He swore to never see or make him cry yet here he was, part of a broken promise he made to himself back when everything was simple. 

He realized how young Byleth was. How he was only a short number of years older than himself and the others. He was still so young, just as naïve and clueless as others could be. Byleth wasn’t someone who had all the answers. Not someone who remained calm and knew what to do in every single situation. He wasn’t an unbreakable pillar. Dimitri understood that now. 

He brought his hand up before hesitantly wiping at the tears against Byleth’s handsome face. For even when crying he looked so beautiful and handsome. Dimitri wiped them away with his thumb before pulling the professor close to him, gulping a little at the unsureness of what to do. He could only manage to hug him and provide short words. 

“Your existence is needed, Professor. You are needed—I..I need you.” 

Byleth could only stand there as Dimitri held him, shocked. It took him a few seconds to let the words into him. Only causing him to shut his eyes and tightly wrap his arms around Dimitri’s neck, taking comfort in the embrace and the warmth of the blonde’s body pressed against his own. He could feel the warmth of his breath on the back of his neck and Byleth pressed his lips to the soft skin of Dimitri’s nape, causing the other to pull him closer. 

“Thank you, Dimitri.”


End file.
